Some days I feel like a failure! When I feel like a failure I often wonder why I was chosen to raise these little lives and why I was chosen to be their mom. Don’t get me wrong I love my children and I have always wanted them, no changes there! I wouldn’t change anything about my life. It’s just that some days I feel like complete mush. That disgusting feeling of failure. It’s a dark feeling that sends you into another plane of existence. Some days I don’t even recognize myself. Energy-less, laziness, & paralyzed are what I feel. It happens from time to time just springing up out of the clear blue; the feelings of being helpless while still dragging myself through my day the best I can manage. Even though I feel like this I must keep in mind that I am depended on by three little boys. Whom cannot make it through this life without me. They have their dad, but some how I am the glue that keeps everything together; just a little better.
When my boys grow up I hope they understand that I tried my absolute best to raise them the best that I could as their mother. I hope that they know how hard I worked at making those ordinary days a little more magical and filled with wonder. Not all of those days are going to be great along the way through our journey together. No matter how hard I try to give them the stars; those days where I fall short are gonna happen! I want them to know that I did my best. When I look into those little eyes all 6 of those eyes I want them to see one of their heroes staring back, Mom! I hope to inspire them to never give up especially when they feel like they have failed!
Now don’t confuse these times in my life with the terrible danger that often lurks with feelings like these. I have never felt like such a failure to get to the point of self harm or anything of the sort! However some people do get to that point which is why it is so crucial to know the signs of depression because sometimes in a blink of an eye everything can change.
Depression is that word that people associate an almost ugly feeling with, like it should be kept in the dark! When it is the exact opposite. I believe that if depression were brought into the light and more people were educated to know the signs/symptoms of it they could change many lives! Feeling like a failure as a parent is part of parenting even if it doesn’t feel great. Depression isn’t just something that happens to parents; it happens to everyone. It can look very different from person to person, as we don’t all walk the same paths in our lives. Laziness, lack of energy, not eating, or feeling paralyzed are just some of the different faces of depression. Sometimes you don’t have any change at all. When I feel like a failure it may not be caused by anything that makes sense to anyone else except me; mental health is unique to the person it is effecting. Just like no one person is the same. Feeling depressed should not make you feel like an outsider among your peers or family, but some how it does. It’s gonna make you feel like your not good enough, like your a failure,or you may feel like your stupid & unlovable. The mind games that a person goes through are real!
What Are Some Things That Help With Depression?
It helps me to be able to talk my feelings out I enjoy being able to have someone to talk to and it makes me feel much better inside. Sometimes I have to force myself to snap out of the funk. It isn’t something that I can just flip on & off and it usually takes quite a bit of time to come out of it completely. The great news is, it can be done! I try my best to align myself with positive thoughts and feelings the best I can do. For each negative thought I combat it with multiple positive ones instead! Talking it out with another person is a great tool that anyone feeling this way should utilize! If your someone who has no friends or family you can strike up a conversation with a total stranger; some may not care to listen and that should not discourage you from continuing to try to talk to someone because there are a whole lot of people in this world. Some of them may surprise you; doesn’t hurt to ask if someone will listen. Talking to yourself just runs you around and round walking the same path and usually getting the same old answers back in return. When you are able to share your thoughts with another person they change that pathway from the same old stuff that clearly isn’t helping to new answers that just might be what you need to hear!
Talking with someone about your feelings is a great way to combat depressive feelings, but if I don’t have someone around to talk to besides children I find that another thing that helps is a healthy dose of sunshine, by going outdoors. Sitting outside in the fresh air even if its a cloudy day, watching my kids play and burn off that built up energy makes me smile! Breathing in air that has been recycled and being stuck indoors looking at a bunch of walls all day can really take a toll on a person. Confinement can cause lots of anxiety and sad feelings, so what better way to combat being stuck indoors than to break free outside! While you are out there might as well try moving around a little bit. Depending on your location and ability to move around that is. Try stretching out your arms and legs, maybe going for a walk in your yard to start things off if you are able to. Moving around & getting exercise has been proven to help you feel better; at least it tends to help me.
Even when you feel like you are failing, or you are not doing it right whatever that may be, please keep in mind that you are enough! Don’t let those feeling of being less than or not good enough overwhelm you and take over. There is always a way to combat those dark feelings. There is always someone to talk to even if you haven’t met them yet! If you are not going through or if you have never felt those kinds of feelings remember you can and just might be a light in someones darkened path! Keep an eye out and learn the signs. Talking about depression may just save someones life!
(I am not a medical professional)
You can talk to your doctor about any depressive thoughts or feelings you have even if they aren’t overwhelming.
What are Some Signs of Depression?
Depression does require a medical diagnosis, however knowing what to watch for may save someones life.
The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of behavioral and physical symptoms. These may include changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, concentration, daily behavior, or self-esteem. Depression can also be associated with thoughts of suicide. (as taken from The Mayo Clinic)
Are There Resources That Can Help Me or Someone Else?
* Talk to Your Doctor!
* Call 1-800-273-8255 To Talk to Someone!
* Chat With Someone Here!
Never be afraid to reach out to someone, anyone!
Thanks for reading. If you or someone you know is going through a depressing time use the resources above!