Sowing Sons: A Lesson in Lying

Teaching your kids is a huge part of raising them. You will always have something to teach them not that they will always want to learn. It will be difficult because raising kids is difficult!
My husband and I are currently going through this phase with our 6 year old where he lies. He lies about everything especially when it is something he shouldn’t be doing, naturally. Didn’t we all lie as kids at some point? I know I did. Now dealing with my own child, it feels literally impossible, like no end in site. I wonder what my parents thought when they were dealing with me and my brother during this phase of life? Lying is one of those things that will always be there it isn’t going be cured and done with. Well it’s not if your normal I guess. Here are the facts: he is lying, he disobeys, he is a kid. We know what the problem is; now we have to figure out how to get him to understand a few things. He needs to know: what lying is, why it is bad, what the consequences are, what he should do instead of lying, & that we still love him even when he does it again.
One big thing that we have made a priority in raising our boys is that they need to know that there are going to be consequences for there actions. They need to know right from wrong. It is our duty as parents to teach them these things because they don’t come born in this world knowing all of these things that are common knowledge to everyone else already in this world. You have to teach them!

What is lying?

Lying is the opposite of telling the truth. Lying is saying something happened in a way that it did not. A fact is truth it is something that actually happened while a lie is something that did not actually occur. When you are explaining this to a child it is crucial that know the difference between what is the truth and what is a lie.

Why is it bad?

As a person you must be able to be truthful with other people. Telling lies will only make other people not give you trust. No one with believe you if you always lie; when you finally are telling the truth how will anyone be able to tell. Kids need to have some understanding of to why they should not lie or really why they should not make a habit out of lying.

What are the consequences?

Consequences are going to be different from family to family. In our house consequences are necessary; it shows our boys that when you do something that is not right they will get a lesson in return of to why what they did was unacceptable. We use time outs in our house and depending on the type of thing they did a good swat on the butt will help them remember not to do it again or not to do it so soon. I as a parent know that they will do it again; I know they are not perfect. I never was as child and even now as an adult I am not. Time out is in a place that is not fun. No toys, its away from distractions, but at the same time somewhere where we can see them if they were to try and get up. It is important to have a consistent place for time out; that way the child knows where to go when it’s time for a time out. You don’t want to use their room for time out as that should be a place for them to be able to get away and sleep. Their room should be a relaxed area. Our kids typically stay in time out under the rule that time out doesn’t start until they have stopped talking and stopped throwing their fit. Then it’s usually about a minute per the age they are. In the case that either timeout isn’t working or they have done something really bad; the consequences go up to being grounded for a period of time.

What should you do instead of lying? What should you do if you have already lied?

Always tell the truth; its a great habit to get into because the truth cannot be altered. It is something that is set in stone, it actually happened. There is always going to be one truth but there will be all sorts of lies that can be told. Telling the truth might embarrass you, it may make you look uncool, and it may be get you in trouble; but it will always be true and un-altered. For some reason telling the truth is a difficult thing to do; even for most adults. Its is the simple thing to do. Lying comes with a whole list of bad. First its one little lie then it just explodes from there. Telling the truth will get it done and over with the lies will end with the truth.

After all is said and done no matter the lesson; let them know that you still love them!

Teaching children right from wrong is apart of parenting; it is a part of growing up. It sounds so simple to write out to say, but living through it is what makes it difficult. Sadly some parents opt out of this part the hard part they think well now I have to be a parent make my kids listen so they give up. The lessons that we teach our children need to be enforced; we need to follow through otherwise your gonna have a bratty child for the rest of their lives even when they are grown. Society will thank you as a person for doing your job as a parent some day, maybe more of a silent thank you.
When you are up to bat with the bases loaded and your team is counting on you; what do you do? You step up to the plate with bat in hand then when the pitcher throws the ball, Do you swing half way? No! That would just be silly because there is no follow through. The follow through is what makes swinging a bat worth it even if you don’t hit that ball at least you tried!
As parents we are not expected to raise our children to be perfect people. We are expected to do our very best that we can as we raise them. There are important lessons that need to be taught to our children. They are all over the place how difficult they are to teach but all necessary to be taught. We should strive to bring up our children to be good: to be truthful & trustworthy, to have good morals about them, and to be respectful to those around them especially when those around them choose not to be good! We must follow through in our roles as parents, that is our job.
My husband & I are on this adventure in raising our boys that is long and at times it will be treacherous. We will not always want to follow through in our parenting because it will become difficult; but we will not just give in. I know that we will buckle down and bear through it thick & thin. When it comes down to it we might even need help along the way. One way or another we will make it through and we will do our very best along this adventure of ours!

Don’t give up on your kids, they need you just like you need them. The guidance you give them will shape them into adults one day. Give them a chance to be good & do good.

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