Adventure

Parenting: 5 Life Lessons

Parenthood can be a rough gig at times; its not all sunshine & rainbows. As a mom of boys its more like that movie Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs; they are messy little beings who spread chaos through my home. I feel like I spend more time cleaning up after them than spending time with them at times. 24 hrs a day 7 days a week, chaos! What’s that old saying? Boys will be boys; I wonder if that person who originated that saying ever did have boys! Boys are strange little creatures; I often catch myself trying to figure out why they do, what they do exactly. They are crazy and chaotic sure, but I they are mine. Being a parent of any kid not just rambunctious boys can be quite the task, you are responsible for another life. One that is not your own life. You have to feed, clean up after, and make sure that kid or kids are well cared for. When you become a parent your not allowed to be selfish anymore, unless you finally get some you time which rarely happens if at all for myself. There are going to be the best times ever on this parenting journey as well as not so great times. Both are learning experiences for parents and kids alike. I like to look at my life with my children as one big learning experience and since you only get one life it is the ultimate learning experience!

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Everyday brings some new adventure to light; like when my 6 year old learned to ride his bike for instance. He kept trying and trying some days he wanted to give up but each time he tried, he learned something new until finally all of that learning payed off. I learned something as well; at the time I felt like maybe I had been too hard on him as I encouraged him to ride that bike every time we went outside. I pushed him to learn it, as I knew if I never helped him make that achievement he may have regretted it one day. That learning experience taught me that it is good to push our kids and try to get them to do something even if they fail at it for the first several times; because one day if you help them and guide them enough, they can be capable of victory! They just need to believe in themselves first!
Life lessons come in all shapes and sizes; during the course of our lives as parents you will learn many lessons. It’s a bunch of trial and errors; never a perfect thing. Parenting will push you to your limits at times. I find myself pushed to the edge on a daily basis; I am constantly having to help my boys think about things, remember things, and also reminding them things that they have already learned; day in and day out! I yell & scream, I laugh & play, and so much more as there is an unlimited amount of daily tasks I do as their mom. I am constantly learning new things about being their mom; new lessons for our adventure.

What lessons have I learned as a mom?

Lesson #1: It’s Okay to Mess Up.
I have messed up as a mom multiple times during my journey. Whether I say the wrong things or do the wrong things. I am by no means perfect. It’s normal to mess up. I’ve yelled at my kids gotten to the point that I felt like I couldn’t return; I messed up. Guess what? It wasn’t the end of the world, it was going to be okay. It’s okay to say the wrong things or do the wrong things as a parent, because its a learning experience this parenthood thing. Everyone is going to mess up at some point. Whether it’s getting too mad at your children or something else its part of being a parent.

Lesson #2: Failure is Something to Learn From.
As a parent you are going to fail. When you do, let yourself learn from it as it will only make you stronger in the end. Instead of seeing a failure in parenting your children as a bad thing learn to see it as a good thing. It is something that can be learned from. When you feel like you have failed your children think of it like, okay how can I? or what can I do differently next time? When we are able to change our state of mind we can change the situation and outcome the next time.

Lesson #3: Never Lose Your Control.
The title can be deceiving like what is this lady telling me! I mean you the parent need to be the one calling the shots, you need to be in control. A child is a child; they don’t have the mentality to make adult decisions until they have become an adult and experienced adulthood! Even if they are 16-18 years old they haven’t been out there in the world or at least shouldn’t have had to. They need to be treated like kids big or little depending on ages but never as an equal because plain and simple they are NOT! Kids need to have rules & boundaries otherwise they will never be able to learn any sort of respect toward you the parent or any other adult that will be in their life. They will walk all over you and see you as some sort of push over if you give them control; it is a must to stay in control both parents.

Lesson #4: Be Unique.
As a parent you may try to compare yourself to other parents out there; always striving to be more like them. You don’t need to be like some other parent. You need to be able to be your own kind of parent/parents to your children; being different is the way to go. No one person can be just like another so we as parents shouldn’t try to be someone we are not! I want to have my own parenting style not someone else’s. My parenting should be as unique as my children not someone else!

Lesson #5: Allow Wiggle Room
You need to have a set of rules in your household that is learned by everyone and is respected; it needs to be what is expected of your children in your house. However in giving these set of rules you should allow for some lenience. Some wiggle room if you will. Give them room to make mistakes. This can be a way for them to learn from mistakes. It also helps to not be too set in stone, as kids are going to make mistakes. Rules will only be respected if you can also be able to forgive, when they are broken.

What are some life lessons that you have learned as parents?
Any nuggets of wisdom for other parents out there?

I have learned so many lesson already on my adventure with my boys, and I know that there are many more to learn. I wish I could share them all with you, my readers. Being able to give some sort of guideline for how this thing called life works is a dream because that is not how it works. I will continue to learn along the way. If I had any advice I would suggest paying attention to each and every day. Treat each day differently; there will be a new lesson, if not more each and every day on your adventure. Don’t expect each day to provide the same lesson as before; be open to the new even if it is scary. Remember our roles as parents are crucial to the raising and well being of our children; what we learn will allow us as parents to teach our children and what our children learn just might teach us something as well.

Thanks for reading my blog! I do appreciate it and just hope my writings/words are helping and connecting with someone out there. Drop a like below and follow me on my social media links also below!

Adventure

When Kids Feel Sick: Feel better in 5 Steps

After tending to a sick baby for most of the day and not getting the best sleep in the world I am just a little on the worn down side today. That is parenthood for you! Enjoy that freedom when your young and kid free, because once you cross that boundary your life will have officially changed. Your in new territory from then on out. And I wouldn’t trade it for nothing in the world. How my heart aches when I have a sick baby; even when they are not babies anymore. There is nothing like it; you just do the best that you can to make them feel the best they can. All of those extra snuggles sure are the best, for someday they won’t need you anymore. I wish I could trade places with them when they are feeling icky; but by doing some of these simple steps I always seem to make them feel just a little bit better!

  • After getting a quick temp check; (this varies by age of the child) I decide whether they will need Tylenol or other fever reducing over the counter medicines. Sometimes they don’t have a fever and if they do it depends on what that temp is to consider going to the doctors. Luckily my little one today didn’t have a real high one as he had just gotten regular immunization shots yesterday so this is expected. I will continue to check the temp through out the day.
  • Next depending on the age; I will wet the hair of my older boys down with warm water so it does not shock their little bodies by using cold. The water being warm helps keep them from getting chills as well. Wetting the hair helps cool the rest of the body down without having to give them full body showers. If you have ever had a sick kid in a shower or bath and are running a temp they will not want to be in there no matter how warm it is. I have found that a good middle ground is just wetting the hair thoroughly. This method will cool them down but if they have a real high temp it will dry out quick so keep an eye on it. On days where the doctors offices are closed or its a weekend I will do this alongside medicine on my older boys to try and maintain a cooler temperature hoping to avoid the ER. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but most of the time it does!
  • Keeping them wrapped up is the next thing I do with everyone; I bundle those little guys up with a nice warm blanket and just hold them if they will let me. Usually they will because who doesn’t enjoy snuggling with their mom. I keep a very close eye on every one of my boys when they are sick; so no worries on if they are getting too hot. I wouldn’t try to break a fever in the baby just so we are on the same page if his gets too much for comfort away we will go to the doctors or ER. With my older boys I will try to break the fever.
  • Everyone in my household knows that water, Gatorade (or an equivalent), & soup are what you get when you are sick. The sickness special; to keep you hydrated through the day and to keep your tummy happy. Overdoing it on the heavy food or drinks are a huge no, no! We tend to stay away from dairy products even if its a cold due to all of that mucous that builds up. Kids don’t seem to be able to clear their heads the best either so clear broths are the way to go! Occasionally icy pops are good to have too especially if your throat is on the sore side and if ice-cream is all too tempting. We want to stray from the dairy as much as possible.
  • Relaxing is one of the best ways to help combat that sickness. Giving your body the rest it needs will do the most healing. When you sleep you regain energy and helps you get better even if you still feel sickly and weak. Seeing my boys at this low point is heart breaking; they should be playing and laughing. Instead are sick and lying around. It’s not fun for anyone but being able to give them the rest they need will help them get better quicker.

After going through these steps repeating them as needed throughout our day of being sick; they will start to come out of it. They will start laughing and playing; getting back to normal. Now sometimes we have to go to the doctors for that extra help if its real bad; but days like today where it wasn’t that bad just a low grade fever those days are welcomed. Those days are not that bad even if they are sick; days like today can be managed. I am thankful that today was a manageable sick day; it takes some of that stress off of a mama’s shoulders. I still worry, I still stress, & I will still keep that extra eye on him but it feels like a good day all in all. Now to just get back to sleeping all night; that may take some time! It will happen though, I just know it.

Thanks for taking the time to read. Drop a like below. I’ve got to get back to this parenting thing, but look for a new post soon!

Adventure

Building Up Our Sons & Daughters

I have been on this journey of raising my boys for 6 years now; there have been good days and not so good days along the way. Each day is a new adventure! Raising a bunch of boys or any child can be a handful. I have had those days where I struggle; where I just break down! I wonder when I break down and my boys see me in that state, how are they feeling? I try my best to not break down in front of them because they don’t need to see me all sorts of ugly; I want them to see me at my best! This feeling of embarrassment for them to see me broken down is something I fear; as if it will shape them somehow in a way that they blame themselves or that they see themselves as a burden. Yes, they push me to my absolute limits at times but there is no way that it is their faults and there is no way that they are burdens. Its something that happens, getting upset and crying. They are boys! That is the design of a boy/girl to be rambunctious, hyper and wild, and do their best to push you! As parents we have to be pushed and challenged because it wasn’t ever meant to be easy. Every day, every adventure should bring about some challenges, something should be learned by you as parents and them as children. Arguing and having disagreements are some of these challenges. Being able to teach our children is what will shape them, so when they do things that they shouldn’t or when they are yelling and throwing a fit these are the teachable moments. These moments will one day shape them into respectable adults that hopefully have good morals. Teachable moments happen in all other ways too.
Letting them see the ugly those tears that seem to morph our upset faces into masks that make us something not pretty, something out of a horror movie. Crazy how our imaginations can grow, how our minds can trick us to think that the view looking into the person is different than the face that is being looked out of. Always striving to put on a brave face for our little ones to model after! When they see that coming unraveled we believe in our minds that some how it will change the way the see us! Isn’t that natural though, I am sure that I can type this with out having met most of you reading this and that statement would have been the truth for some of you, maybe all of you.


Building up our self esteem as parents and believing in our selves is important; and it is just as important for our children to feel that as well. I often worry that my boys will see me crying and all upset and think its their fault as I already mentioned but I also fear that they will see that as something that is wrong. That it is not okay to be upset or cry. I want them to know the opposite. It is good to get those rotten feelings out; that it is okay to scream, yell, & throw a tantrum at times. That I do expect that to happen. I want them to be able to express themselves. Nobody wants people to cry but when it does happen I want my boys to know that they should not feel shameful that they should not feel like it is wrong. Being able to reassure them is very important to me as a parent! Just like I need to be reassured that it will be okay as a mom when I get upset I want the same for my boys. I struggle as a parent; how can I say that I don’t want to teach them shame over being upset when I feel that way sometimes when I get upset? Isn’t it a double standard? I am only human, and am very far from perfect. I welcome those humans who are perfect to give the rest of us a lecture on how to be perfect in this life. Any takers…..? Silence is what you will get; although someone out their is gonna be full of hot air! I have to laugh here because this is so true; no body on this whole entire planet is perfect!
Even as an adult of 29 years I am still learning things each day. You should never be done learning because this world holds so much knowledge and wisdom. It would be silly to just learn it all and be done. I wonder how that would look; oh I’ve accomplished it all… Now what? How boring that would be if that were how it worked. The importance of building ourselves up is just as important as building our children up even if we don’t do it like the person next to us. After all we are not meant to do things just like everyone else.

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I think that this society that we live in can try its best to tell us how we are supposed to be living our lives. It puts pressure on how and what we do. What to buy, how to look, & how we view our lives. We cannot all be the same like mindless drone robots. We have to raise our kids up. Build them up from the start and everyone has a different beginning, a different start point. I worry about the future; living in this world today. What will it be like for my boys when they are growing up in it? How will it be when they have grown up and have their own families someday? Instilling good structure in their lives now, is important! There is still so much to teach them that is also important; but right now I am focused on going through this learning process of raising kids. Some days still feeling like a kid myself. It has this effect on me as a person; when I learn something really hard to grasp or in this case wrangle it can make me feel like breaking. When that future day comes to the present, that all of my boys are grown and when they start their own families! The things I have taught them now are going to play a huge part in their future relationships with their spouses & children of their own. I want them to be able to have emotions that they can then turn and share with loved ones, knowing it is okay! I hope that they can take what I have taught them and in turn teach the next person that they come across in their pathway in their own adventure. Parenting is a series of teachable moments that one day will be the stepping stones for our children to start their own pathways in their own lives!

Thanks for reading I hope I was able to teach you something and it was a good read. Drop a like below or follow me on social media in links below. Follow this blog if you enjoy reading what I write. Thanks again.

Adventure

When You Feel Like Your Failing.

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Some days I feel like a failure! When I feel like a failure I often wonder why I was chosen to raise these little lives and why I was chosen to be their mom. Don’t get me wrong I love my children and I have always wanted them, no changes there! I wouldn’t change anything about my life. It’s just that some days I feel like complete mush. That disgusting feeling of failure. It’s a dark feeling that sends you into another plane of existence. Some days I don’t even recognize myself. Energy-less, laziness, & paralyzed are what I feel. It happens from time to time just springing up out of the clear blue; the feelings of being helpless while still dragging myself through my day the best I can manage. Even though I feel like this I must keep in mind that I am depended on by three little boys. Whom cannot make it through this life without me. They have their dad, but some how I am the glue that keeps everything together; just a little better.
When my boys grow up I hope they understand that I tried my absolute best to raise them the best that I could as their mother. I hope that they know how hard I worked at making those ordinary days a little more magical and filled with wonder. Not all of those days are going to be great along the way through our journey together. No matter how hard I try to give them the stars; those days where I fall short are gonna happen! I want them to know that I did my best. When I look into those little eyes all 6 of those eyes I want them to see one of their heroes staring back, Mom! I hope to inspire them to never give up especially when they feel like they have failed!
Now don’t confuse these times in my life with the terrible danger that often lurks with feelings like these. I have never felt like such a failure to get to the point of self harm or anything of the sort! However some people do get to that point which is why it is so crucial to know the signs of depression because sometimes in a blink of an eye everything can change.
Depression is that word that people associate an almost ugly feeling with, like it should be kept in the dark! When it is the exact opposite. I believe that if depression were brought into the light and more people were educated to know the signs/symptoms of it they could change many lives! Feeling like a failure as a parent is part of parenting even if it doesn’t feel great. Depression isn’t just something that happens to parents; it happens to everyone. It can look very different from person to person, as we don’t all walk the same paths in our lives. Laziness, lack of energy, not eating, or feeling paralyzed are just some of the different faces of depression. Sometimes you don’t have any change at all. When I feel like a failure it may not be caused by anything that makes sense to anyone else except me; mental health is unique to the person it is effecting. Just like no one person is the same. Feeling depressed should not make you feel like an outsider among your peers or family, but some how it does. It’s gonna make you feel like your not good enough, like your a failure,or you may feel like your stupid & unlovable. The mind games that a person goes through are real!

What Are Some Things That Help With Depression?


It helps me to be able to talk my feelings out I enjoy being able to have someone to talk to and it makes me feel much better inside. Sometimes I have to force myself to snap out of the funk. It isn’t something that I can just flip on & off and it usually takes quite a bit of time to come out of it completely. The great news is, it can be done! I try my best to align myself with positive thoughts and feelings the best I can do. For each negative thought I combat it with multiple positive ones instead! Talking it out with another person is a great tool that anyone feeling this way should utilize! If your someone who has no friends or family you can strike up a conversation with a total stranger; some may not care to listen and that should not discourage you from continuing to try to talk to someone because there are a whole lot of people in this world. Some of them may surprise you; doesn’t hurt to ask if someone will listen. Talking to yourself just runs you around and round walking the same path and usually getting the same old answers back in return. When you are able to share your thoughts with another person they change that pathway from the same old stuff that clearly isn’t helping to new answers that just might be what you need to hear!
Talking with someone about your feelings is a great way to combat depressive feelings, but if I don’t have someone around to talk to besides children I find that another thing that helps is a healthy dose of sunshine, by going outdoors. Sitting outside in the fresh air even if its a cloudy day, watching my kids play and burn off that built up energy makes me smile! Breathing in air that has been recycled and being stuck indoors looking at a bunch of walls all day can really take a toll on a person. Confinement can cause lots of anxiety and sad feelings, so what better way to combat being stuck indoors than to break free outside! While you are out there might as well try moving around a little bit. Depending on your location and ability to move around that is. Try stretching out your arms and legs, maybe going for a walk in your yard to start things off if you are able to. Moving around & getting exercise has been proven to help you feel better; at least it tends to help me.

Even when you feel like you are failing, or you are not doing it right whatever that may be, please keep in mind that you are enough! Don’t let those feeling of being less than or not good enough overwhelm you and take over. There is always a way to combat those dark feelings. There is always someone to talk to even if you haven’t met them yet! If you are not going through or if you have never felt those kinds of feelings remember you can and just might be a light in someones darkened path! Keep an eye out and learn the signs. Talking about depression may just save someones life!
(I am not a medical professional)
You can talk to your doctor about any depressive thoughts or feelings you have even if they aren’t overwhelming.

What are Some Signs of Depression?

Depression does require a medical diagnosis, however knowing what to watch for may save someones life.

The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of behavioral and physical symptoms. These may include changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, concentration, daily behavior, or self-esteem. Depression can also be associated with thoughts of suicide. (as taken from The Mayo Clinic)

Are There Resources That Can Help Me or Someone Else?

Yes!

* Talk to Your Doctor!
* Call 1-800-273-8255 To Talk to Someone!
* Chat With Someone Here!

Never be afraid to reach out to someone, anyone!

Thanks for reading. If you or someone you know is going through a depressing time use the resources above!