Life, Motherhood

Don’t Forget to Take Care of You, Too!

It’s been over a week since my last post; its been too long, I know. However it has been much needed I was reading a post over on Quirky Workin’ Mom’s about putting yourself in timeout from the world of social media and other toxic areas in your life. Taking a timeout and giving yourself a time to relax, reboot, & get things done! I wanted to just take a few days off to begin with but then another day got added then another, it was quite nice to take that time off!
I was able to have family time with my husband who was off work for the last couple of weeks due to switching to a new job, which he started on Monday. I spent more time with my boys even though they were never in one place for more than a couple of minutes, enjoyed me giving a little extra time to them anyways. And finally I found time for myself! After weeks of rolling through this season of sickness, stress, anxiety, & all the rest of 2020 I needed some sort of me time.
It should have been a no brainer to start taking care of me but when you are a mom who takes care of kids, the house, most of the bills, the car, the cooking, the cleaning, remembering trash day, taking kids to school or doctors appointments (most online), making sure the animals get fed/watered, and so much more it can be so easy to forget to take care of well YOU!
To combat the sort of funk I have fallen into I have started a new diet that really is more of a healthier eating style controlling portion sizes and replacing a lot of unhealthy choices with better ones. When the days are nicer I opt to walk to the bus stop to pick up my oldest rather than take the car & even get in some extra walking before sometimes if its a really nice day. I usually will have my almost 9 month old with me so weather needs to be baby friendly to go for a walk outside. If a walk outside isn’t possible that day I will do my best to get inside chores done; cleaning the house mostly. Getting up and moving around helps out a lot with moods and how you are feeling.
I think that a lot of people have been in a funk lately with COVID and just 2020 in general. Giving myself time to get more things done and also take a break has been a nice change to my normal day of chaos. I will admit I have been so used to not posting it would have been easier to continue that but I enjoy writing too much to give it up so soon! I will also admit I have been battling against the faceless enemy of anxiety & depression that come to visit me from time to time. Taking time for myself has also been a great way to help with those feelings as well.
I guess the moral of the story I am writing to you about is that every person at some point needs to give themselves time that is reserved just for them and them ONLY! If you are always taking time for everyone else in your life giving your self and time to person after person you are going to get worn out physically & mentally. You need to STOP and smell the roses or rather take that deep breath and evaluate what it is that you need instead of what everyone else is needing. You may not be able to take a whole lot of time but a little bit of time for yourself goes a long way! It gives you a chance to relax and unwind. You just need to figure out what YOU time looks like for you & your needs!
There’s still going to be time for all of the others in your life who need you but only if you give yourself a break once in a while! Don’t be afraid to pamper yourself a little more and find that special time for you and YOU only!

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Adventure, Motherhood

Talk about it Tuesday: Backyard Snake Hunter

If anyone has ever raised boys or just brave adventurous children it is quite common for those children to develop a sense of invincibility. Most of the time they are dare devils who will seek out the thrill that a lot of people tend to stray away from. My middle son is my little dare devil. He has no fear and that is good to some degree, but there is a limit that this mom has for danger.
My boy has a knack for climbing what ever he can find worth climbing, jumping from tall heights off of furniture around the house or outside playground equipment, he is not afraid of much and even if he is afraid he soon conquers his fears. Although seemingly fearless there are those creepy crawlies that he fears but of all of the creepy slithery things he loves playing with snakes! The only snakes on our Iowa property have been harmless garter snakes the kind that eat worms, frogs, mice or bird eggs so I am not worried that they are dangerous to him. However a snake is a snake and I don’t want my 4 year old playing with snakes!
However boys will be boys. Earlier today similar to another time this boy comes running inside the house from playing outside in our fenced in back yard. He comes running inside and boy did he have a story to tell! I can always tell its a doozy of a story because he starts by saying “So! Let me tell you about it!” It being the thing he comes running excitedly inside about. He tells me that he put a snake in a bucket and that I need to come see it, Now! I let him out side for about 10 minutes and he could only be outside with our family dog because that dog is an alarm and will sound off when anyone walks past any part of our house. Anyways we walk out expecting to see a live snake but I would have to say how proud I was when he informed me that it was dead because the dog killed it.
Why am I proud? Well because the last time his story involved a snake he was holding that live slithering thing in his hands! Slinging it around the yard chasing his less enthused older brother.
He is quite the adventurous boy possibly too adventurous at times!

Have you had a similar experience?
Any fun stories?

I am not terrified of snakes otherwise I might have fainted. I tend to toss them over our fence weekly due to our dog hunting them then ending their slithering lives. He is a terrier and I love that we have our little hunter at times but there are just so many snakes to be had; I wish there weren’t so many sometimes.
I can only imagine the neighbors watching me from their windows tossing snakes over the fence (not toward them of course), what crosses their minds?

I hope to share many other fun stories about our life raising wild boys and other fun family stories that cross our paths in our life adventure! Thanks for reading, drop a like below, & follow my blog! Stay tuned in for more posts coming soon.


Sowing Sons: A Lesson in Lying

Teaching your kids is a huge part of raising them. You will always have something to teach them not that they will always want to learn. It will be difficult because raising kids is difficult!
My husband and I are currently going through this phase with our 6 year old where he lies. He lies about everything especially when it is something he shouldn’t be doing, naturally. Didn’t we all lie as kids at some point? I know I did. Now dealing with my own child, it feels literally impossible, like no end in site. I wonder what my parents thought when they were dealing with me and my brother during this phase of life? Lying is one of those things that will always be there it isn’t going be cured and done with. Well it’s not if your normal I guess. Here are the facts: he is lying, he disobeys, he is a kid. We know what the problem is; now we have to figure out how to get him to understand a few things. He needs to know: what lying is, why it is bad, what the consequences are, what he should do instead of lying, & that we still love him even when he does it again.
One big thing that we have made a priority in raising our boys is that they need to know that there are going to be consequences for there actions. They need to know right from wrong. It is our duty as parents to teach them these things because they don’t come born in this world knowing all of these things that are common knowledge to everyone else already in this world. You have to teach them!

What is lying?

Lying is the opposite of telling the truth. Lying is saying something happened in a way that it did not. A fact is truth it is something that actually happened while a lie is something that did not actually occur. When you are explaining this to a child it is crucial that know the difference between what is the truth and what is a lie.

Why is it bad?

As a person you must be able to be truthful with other people. Telling lies will only make other people not give you trust. No one with believe you if you always lie; when you finally are telling the truth how will anyone be able to tell. Kids need to have some understanding of to why they should not lie or really why they should not make a habit out of lying.

What are the consequences?

Consequences are going to be different from family to family. In our house consequences are necessary; it shows our boys that when you do something that is not right they will get a lesson in return of to why what they did was unacceptable. We use time outs in our house and depending on the type of thing they did a good swat on the butt will help them remember not to do it again or not to do it so soon. I as a parent know that they will do it again; I know they are not perfect. I never was as child and even now as an adult I am not. Time out is in a place that is not fun. No toys, its away from distractions, but at the same time somewhere where we can see them if they were to try and get up. It is important to have a consistent place for time out; that way the child knows where to go when it’s time for a time out. You don’t want to use their room for time out as that should be a place for them to be able to get away and sleep. Their room should be a relaxed area. Our kids typically stay in time out under the rule that time out doesn’t start until they have stopped talking and stopped throwing their fit. Then it’s usually about a minute per the age they are. In the case that either timeout isn’t working or they have done something really bad; the consequences go up to being grounded for a period of time.

What should you do instead of lying? What should you do if you have already lied?

Always tell the truth; its a great habit to get into because the truth cannot be altered. It is something that is set in stone, it actually happened. There is always going to be one truth but there will be all sorts of lies that can be told. Telling the truth might embarrass you, it may make you look uncool, and it may be get you in trouble; but it will always be true and un-altered. For some reason telling the truth is a difficult thing to do; even for most adults. Its is the simple thing to do. Lying comes with a whole list of bad. First its one little lie then it just explodes from there. Telling the truth will get it done and over with the lies will end with the truth.

After all is said and done no matter the lesson; let them know that you still love them!

Teaching children right from wrong is apart of parenting; it is a part of growing up. It sounds so simple to write out to say, but living through it is what makes it difficult. Sadly some parents opt out of this part the hard part they think well now I have to be a parent make my kids listen so they give up. The lessons that we teach our children need to be enforced; we need to follow through otherwise your gonna have a bratty child for the rest of their lives even when they are grown. Society will thank you as a person for doing your job as a parent some day, maybe more of a silent thank you.
When you are up to bat with the bases loaded and your team is counting on you; what do you do? You step up to the plate with bat in hand then when the pitcher throws the ball, Do you swing half way? No! That would just be silly because there is no follow through. The follow through is what makes swinging a bat worth it even if you don’t hit that ball at least you tried!
As parents we are not expected to raise our children to be perfect people. We are expected to do our very best that we can as we raise them. There are important lessons that need to be taught to our children. They are all over the place how difficult they are to teach but all necessary to be taught. We should strive to bring up our children to be good: to be truthful & trustworthy, to have good morals about them, and to be respectful to those around them especially when those around them choose not to be good! We must follow through in our roles as parents, that is our job.
My husband & I are on this adventure in raising our boys that is long and at times it will be treacherous. We will not always want to follow through in our parenting because it will become difficult; but we will not just give in. I know that we will buckle down and bear through it thick & thin. When it comes down to it we might even need help along the way. One way or another we will make it through and we will do our very best along this adventure of ours!

Don’t give up on your kids, they need you just like you need them. The guidance you give them will shape them into adults one day. Give them a chance to be good & do good.

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When You Feel Like Your Failing.

Photo by Ken Ozuna from Pexels

Some days I feel like a failure! When I feel like a failure I often wonder why I was chosen to raise these little lives and why I was chosen to be their mom. Don’t get me wrong I love my children and I have always wanted them, no changes there! I wouldn’t change anything about my life. It’s just that some days I feel like complete mush. That disgusting feeling of failure. It’s a dark feeling that sends you into another plane of existence. Some days I don’t even recognize myself. Energy-less, laziness, & paralyzed are what I feel. It happens from time to time just springing up out of the clear blue; the feelings of being helpless while still dragging myself through my day the best I can manage. Even though I feel like this I must keep in mind that I am depended on by three little boys. Whom cannot make it through this life without me. They have their dad, but some how I am the glue that keeps everything together; just a little better.
When my boys grow up I hope they understand that I tried my absolute best to raise them the best that I could as their mother. I hope that they know how hard I worked at making those ordinary days a little more magical and filled with wonder. Not all of those days are going to be great along the way through our journey together. No matter how hard I try to give them the stars; those days where I fall short are gonna happen! I want them to know that I did my best. When I look into those little eyes all 6 of those eyes I want them to see one of their heroes staring back, Mom! I hope to inspire them to never give up especially when they feel like they have failed!
Now don’t confuse these times in my life with the terrible danger that often lurks with feelings like these. I have never felt like such a failure to get to the point of self harm or anything of the sort! However some people do get to that point which is why it is so crucial to know the signs of depression because sometimes in a blink of an eye everything can change.
Depression is that word that people associate an almost ugly feeling with, like it should be kept in the dark! When it is the exact opposite. I believe that if depression were brought into the light and more people were educated to know the signs/symptoms of it they could change many lives! Feeling like a failure as a parent is part of parenting even if it doesn’t feel great. Depression isn’t just something that happens to parents; it happens to everyone. It can look very different from person to person, as we don’t all walk the same paths in our lives. Laziness, lack of energy, not eating, or feeling paralyzed are just some of the different faces of depression. Sometimes you don’t have any change at all. When I feel like a failure it may not be caused by anything that makes sense to anyone else except me; mental health is unique to the person it is effecting. Just like no one person is the same. Feeling depressed should not make you feel like an outsider among your peers or family, but some how it does. It’s gonna make you feel like your not good enough, like your a failure,or you may feel like your stupid & unlovable. The mind games that a person goes through are real!

What Are Some Things That Help With Depression?

It helps me to be able to talk my feelings out I enjoy being able to have someone to talk to and it makes me feel much better inside. Sometimes I have to force myself to snap out of the funk. It isn’t something that I can just flip on & off and it usually takes quite a bit of time to come out of it completely. The great news is, it can be done! I try my best to align myself with positive thoughts and feelings the best I can do. For each negative thought I combat it with multiple positive ones instead! Talking it out with another person is a great tool that anyone feeling this way should utilize! If your someone who has no friends or family you can strike up a conversation with a total stranger; some may not care to listen and that should not discourage you from continuing to try to talk to someone because there are a whole lot of people in this world. Some of them may surprise you; doesn’t hurt to ask if someone will listen. Talking to yourself just runs you around and round walking the same path and usually getting the same old answers back in return. When you are able to share your thoughts with another person they change that pathway from the same old stuff that clearly isn’t helping to new answers that just might be what you need to hear!
Talking with someone about your feelings is a great way to combat depressive feelings, but if I don’t have someone around to talk to besides children I find that another thing that helps is a healthy dose of sunshine, by going outdoors. Sitting outside in the fresh air even if its a cloudy day, watching my kids play and burn off that built up energy makes me smile! Breathing in air that has been recycled and being stuck indoors looking at a bunch of walls all day can really take a toll on a person. Confinement can cause lots of anxiety and sad feelings, so what better way to combat being stuck indoors than to break free outside! While you are out there might as well try moving around a little bit. Depending on your location and ability to move around that is. Try stretching out your arms and legs, maybe going for a walk in your yard to start things off if you are able to. Moving around & getting exercise has been proven to help you feel better; at least it tends to help me.

Even when you feel like you are failing, or you are not doing it right whatever that may be, please keep in mind that you are enough! Don’t let those feeling of being less than or not good enough overwhelm you and take over. There is always a way to combat those dark feelings. There is always someone to talk to even if you haven’t met them yet! If you are not going through or if you have never felt those kinds of feelings remember you can and just might be a light in someones darkened path! Keep an eye out and learn the signs. Talking about depression may just save someones life!
(I am not a medical professional)
You can talk to your doctor about any depressive thoughts or feelings you have even if they aren’t overwhelming.

What are Some Signs of Depression?

Depression does require a medical diagnosis, however knowing what to watch for may save someones life.

The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of behavioral and physical symptoms. These may include changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, concentration, daily behavior, or self-esteem. Depression can also be associated with thoughts of suicide. (as taken from The Mayo Clinic)

Are There Resources That Can Help Me or Someone Else?


* Talk to Your Doctor!
* Call 1-800-273-8255 To Talk to Someone!
* Chat With Someone Here!

Never be afraid to reach out to someone, anyone!

Thanks for reading. If you or someone you know is going through a depressing time use the resources above!