I have been on this journey of raising my boys for 6 years now; there have been good days and not so good days along the way. Each day is a new adventure! Raising a bunch of boys or any child can be a handful. I have had those days where I struggle; where I just break down! I wonder when I break down and my boys see me in that state, how are they feeling? I try my best to not break down in front of them because they don’t need to see me all sorts of ugly; I want them to see me at my best! This feeling of embarrassment for them to see me broken down is something I fear; as if it will shape them somehow in a way that they blame themselves or that they see themselves as a burden. Yes, they push me to my absolute limits at times but there is no way that it is their faults and there is no way that they are burdens. Its something that happens, getting upset and crying. They are boys! That is the design of a boy/girl to be rambunctious, hyper and wild, and do their best to push you! As parents we have to be pushed and challenged because it wasn’t ever meant to be easy. Every day, every adventure should bring about some challenges, something should be learned by you as parents and them as children. Arguing and having disagreements are some of these challenges. Being able to teach our children is what will shape them, so when they do things that they shouldn’t or when they are yelling and throwing a fit these are the teachable moments. These moments will one day shape them into respectable adults that hopefully have good morals. Teachable moments happen in all other ways too.
Letting them see the ugly those tears that seem to morph our upset faces into masks that make us something not pretty, something out of a horror movie. Crazy how our imaginations can grow, how our minds can trick us to think that the view looking into the person is different than the face that is being looked out of. Always striving to put on a brave face for our little ones to model after! When they see that coming unraveled we believe in our minds that some how it will change the way the see us! Isn’t that natural though, I am sure that I can type this with out having met most of you reading this and that statement would have been the truth for some of you, maybe all of you.
Building up our self esteem as parents and believing in our selves is important; and it is just as important for our children to feel that as well. I often worry that my boys will see me crying and all upset and think its their fault as I already mentioned but I also fear that they will see that as something that is wrong. That it is not okay to be upset or cry. I want them to know the opposite. It is good to get those rotten feelings out; that it is okay to scream, yell, & throw a tantrum at times. That I do expect that to happen. I want them to be able to express themselves. Nobody wants people to cry but when it does happen I want my boys to know that they should not feel shameful that they should not feel like it is wrong. Being able to reassure them is very important to me as a parent! Just like I need to be reassured that it will be okay as a mom when I get upset I want the same for my boys. I struggle as a parent; how can I say that I don’t want to teach them shame over being upset when I feel that way sometimes when I get upset? Isn’t it a double standard? I am only human, and am very far from perfect. I welcome those humans who are perfect to give the rest of us a lecture on how to be perfect in this life. Any takers…..? Silence is what you will get; although someone out their is gonna be full of hot air! I have to laugh here because this is so true; no body on this whole entire planet is perfect!
Even as an adult of 29 years I am still learning things each day. You should never be done learning because this world holds so much knowledge and wisdom. It would be silly to just learn it all and be done. I wonder how that would look; oh I’ve accomplished it all… Now what? How boring that would be if that were how it worked. The importance of building ourselves up is just as important as building our children up even if we don’t do it like the person next to us. After all we are not meant to do things just like everyone else.
I think that this society that we live in can try its best to tell us how we are supposed to be living our lives. It puts pressure on how and what we do. What to buy, how to look, & how we view our lives. We cannot all be the same like mindless drone robots. We have to raise our kids up. Build them up from the start and everyone has a different beginning, a different start point. I worry about the future; living in this world today. What will it be like for my boys when they are growing up in it? How will it be when they have grown up and have their own families someday? Instilling good structure in their lives now, is important! There is still so much to teach them that is also important; but right now I am focused on going through this learning process of raising kids. Some days still feeling like a kid myself. It has this effect on me as a person; when I learn something really hard to grasp or in this case wrangle it can make me feel like breaking. When that future day comes to the present, that all of my boys are grown and when they start their own families! The things I have taught them now are going to play a huge part in their future relationships with their spouses & children of their own. I want them to be able to have emotions that they can then turn and share with loved ones, knowing it is okay! I hope that they can take what I have taught them and in turn teach the next person that they come across in their pathway in their own adventure. Parenting is a series of teachable moments that one day will be the stepping stones for our children to start their own pathways in their own lives!
Thanks for reading I hope I was able to teach you something and it was a good read. Drop a like below or follow me on social media in links below. Follow this blog if you enjoy reading what I write. Thanks again.