Motherhood

5 Things About Stay at Home Parents

Being able to see the world from someone else’s perspective is something we as people cannot even begin to imagine until we are given the opportunity to do so by seeing it ourselves or even by reading it with our own eyes. When you wake up in the morning and gather yourself its always going to be different from what someone else will do. It can never be the exact same experience as another.

A single day for me is a whole lot different now than what it was a year ago and I am sure it can be different for others as well as our lives are always changing from day to day. As a person who used to have a job to go to work at everyday who now does a different form of work by staying home as a stay at home parent kind of changed my perspective. I no longer have that rush of going to an actual work building sure, however it is kind of the same in some ways. Even though I don’t leave my home or even log in to a computer for a stay at home job I still am doing a job; and at times it is a tough job to do.

5 Things That People Should Know About Being a Stay at Home Parent

  1. It may not be a traditional job where you clock in and out but it is a job; a hard one at that. I know we’ve all heard it before staying at home as a stay at home parent is a job too but sometimes I feel like it is taken too lightly because it’s just as hard but in different ways. Last year I worked in a kitchen at a school and before that I worked in a hospital cleaning and doing laundry. I have worked many other hard working jobs before those as well and when I compare them all to staying at home with my own kids here’s how it comes out.
    * Both require my full undivided attention.
    * Both will wear you out and then some.
    * Stay at home parents are doing a natural job that usually never ends unless they are given a break occasionally. At most jobs you eventually go home for a break but not for all of them.
    * Although unlikely the shit will literally attempt to hit the fan while at home at times especially those of us with small children… and fans! If this happens at a work place I would look for a new job unless you are in that business of course!
  2. Stay at home parents get the opportunity of being a jack of all trades even if they didn’t plan on it. Staying at home more has allowed me to just expand this ability because being a parent in general gave me all sorts of tasks to accomplish kind of making me and expert at some of the jobs the world has to offer. I am an on call doctor at times; a personal chef always; most days I am a teacher of all sorts of things; & sometimes I even get to try out being an actress… not that I am the greatest or anything. I have worked in all sorts of jobs but none can ever prepare you for a single day at the amusement park of a stay at home parent. There is always something unexpected good and bad.
  3. It’s a given that a stay at home parent is well home pretty much all of the time and that is just a reward on its own even if it doesn’t feel like it some days. Being able to be home more with your kids gives you that bond or the ability to create a special bond with your kids that you would have otherwise missed. As a mother to three wonderful little boys who are always rambunctious, wild, & sweet it can be hard to grab a moment with each of them on their own well that is if I were working outside the home and really more time with the older boys as I am constantly with the baby most of the time. Before I found that I was feeling disconnected from them at times because of school and work. When we all got home there was a short amount of time together before bed as everyone was wore out most days. Then of course there was the weekends but they didn’t want to spend those at home because they missed going to the grandparents houses so then they weren’t home that much then either. Now that I am home these days I have been able to connect more with them and find that I have more energy when my oldest comes home from school in the afternoons and feel much less sluggish or tired. I have been able to spend more one on one time with both of the older boys and the baby of course. I am loving this so much!
  4. Being at home more does have its wonders and rewards but sometimes it brings in other feelings relating to stress and sadness. Feelings of hopelessness and sadness are not going to skip over people because of professions or who that person is. It doesn’t matter who you are because things like stress and depression happen to everyone. Here’s the thing you shouldn’t feel any shame in it either! While these feelings can hit anyone at anytime they will effect people who are closed off from other people or who spend a lot of time alone. I know this because I have suffered from a lot of dealings with depression and stress. The depressive feelings tend to happen more when I am not really in contact with other people besides my kids or husband I believe this is because people need to have connections with other people. Even if you are not in a person to person conversation with another person out side of your home and it is just typing on the computer that conversation alone can help out someone dealing with depressive feelings a lot. It can be very easy for someone who is at home as a stay at home parent to close themselves off or even just feel closed off from the rest of the world. This can mess with your mind a bunch and just imagine only being able to have conversations with children for most of your days and possibly yourself. I am lucky enough to be able to get on my computer or my phone and talk to people so that this doesn’t happen to me as much. There are people that don’t have this kind of luxury even if that seems strange and I also count myself lucky to have a husband who is someone who I can talk to because some spouses for others would not do the same. Being home all day long with kids can drive you up a wall believe me and I love those little faces so much but sometimes I just need a break or someone to talk to to help tame those feelings that sometimes creep up. Some days I overcome them with victory and others I do not but even though I fail at overcoming them sometimes I still have some way to connect with someone else. Keep this in your minds before you judge a person who stays home whether they are a stay at home parent or at home for some other reason because the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
  5. This full time job of staying home all day everyday with our children some of us homeschooling others just home until they can go to school anyways we all work hard and even if we complain a little bit we still do this job. This stay at home gig, job, task; whatever you call it doesn’t pay a darn thing and it never will. We stay home everyday, feed our kids and ourselves everyday, keep up on housework everyday, clean up mess after mess all hours of the day and night, kiss boo boo’s and make little tummies feel better when they don’t feel well at all, we push our bodies to the max and then some more, we stand strong and try our hardest even when it feels like all of our hard work is collapsing around us; this full time job never ends and it may never get easier but we will continue to work this job because without us it just doesn’t work for our families otherwise. It’s what we do.

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homeschooling

Our First Week Homeschooling Update

We survived! Our first week as home schooler’s went just as planned, great! I was a bit nervous to begin with but I found that I actually enjoy this versus sending them to a traditional school. We get all of our work done with in 3 hours which leaves time for playing outside and other fun projects. We ended up only having to do a couple of subject books for a couple days during this week and probably every week as we flew through the lessons quicker than anticipated. For our schooling we need to do 2 lessons per week for each subject to stay at a even pace. I thought that it might be too much but not at all the case.
As a mom I found that I am enjoying teaching my kids school work even more than I thought I would. At home there are no boundaries for all of the ways you can teach no regulations on when you have to do schooling its very flexible. We are able to do double work leaving us ahead of schedule and more time for other electives like Art or even to practice more of other subjects.
We don’t do a set schedule, instead school is after breakfast so when everyone wakes up we get into gear and get school work done! Having always sent my kids to a traditional school in the past I always hated getting up at the break of dawn and having to rush around getting everyone ready & out the door by a certain time. We always ended up cutting it real close with the schools tardy policy which where we live results in a court date that may lead to a variety of punishments. I think its absurd because not everyone is perfect to fit in that mold. Some of us are naturally all over the place and so are our kids! I feel a relief to not feel that threat of getting fined money because our kids were late to school one too many times. As I think about it more I have come to the conclusion that kids need to have more sleep than they are allowed to get by schools starting so early in the mornings not knowing if that kid is sleeping through the night or if they are having trouble falling asleep; so my point is that my kids can sleep in and rest for the day ahead of them. There is no stressful rushing around in the morning, no arguing with them to get dressed and stay that way. Most of the time my kids would have eaten at school unless they were late then they had to rush and eat at home. Something quick at that. Now they get that balance meal no worry about filling a time slot for school.
Before school started I asked both of my boys if there was anything that they would want to learn about besides what I would be teaching them. They told me they wanted to: learn to cook, learn to do art, learn about animals, & learn about bugs. Since we are learning at home and since we also have more of a flexibility when it comes to learning maybe they should learn about things that interest them also. In school it is a set curriculum plan that isn’t individualize per student instead it is for the whole class where everyone learns the same thing. I think that this approach will be better for them in the long haul. They are getting the main curriculum and something they can be excited about just for them.
Our first week has been great and enjoyable as I predict we will have many more great weeks to come. I know they won’t all be perfect some weeks I will think about pulling my hair out or I may scream into a pillow; but I think that it will continue to be less stressful than that stressful morning rush for traditional school and less stressful than dealing with all the things that come with sending kids to traditional schools. We are going to have fun the best that we can and just do homeschooling the way that works for us!

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Questions for you: Is anyone else doing home schooling for the first time? Were any of you homeschooling already? How have you liked it? What differences do you like doing school at home versus in a traditional school building? Feel free to comment below.

Motherhood

Life Update: Homeschooling

Very busy week for our family so I had to put a hold on fun crafts for a bit. There have been quite a lot of cases of COVID accumulating in our area some hitting too close for comfort. My husband and I sat down and had a very long talk and after much discussion we decided that we felt like we were being put between a rock and a hard place to send our kids back to school. We have a new baby who has just turned 5 months old; he stayed in the NICU for a month of his life and was born early on top of everything else. Then we have two other boys one of which has asthma that tends to get worse when he gets sickness especially coughs. We feel like taking that kind of gamble by sending the older ones back to school and I back to the school for work that we were gambling with their little lives. That isn’t fair of us to do. Call us crazy but we are just not willing to take that chance so we will be pulling our kids out of public schooling and start homeschooling for the year fairly soon.
I have been working all week to figure out how to do get started on this new journey of ours; figuring out what I have to do to get us going. Every state has their own set of rules/laws for homeschooling, we live in Iowa. I do believe I have gotten everything ready just to get the forms filled out and turned in with everything needed and then gotta order our curriculum for the year. My two older boys will be doing school curriculum through Master Books faith based education. The oldest is going into 1st grade and his brother is on his second year of preschool; in Iowa preschool isn’t necessarily a grade but he will still need to be ready for Kindergarten next year so we are doing preschool anyways as he just did 3 year old preschool this past year. After doing a fair amount of research on a faith based curriculum I landed on Master Books; I may add things to it during the year for that extra amount of learning depends on how things are going.
Today some thoughts passed through my head as today was the opening day for our schools registration online; I thought long and hard and wanted to make sure we were doing the right thing by pulling them out completely as our school is offering a remote learning program for some of the families in the school if they see it is necessary. The real disappointing part of this was learning that it will not be offered to everyone just some. That was part of our decision against staying in the school as hey if we were one of the chosen families we would be able to stay at the school. Except they only offered it for our 1st grader so that meant that our preschooler wouldn’t be able to do that. And then some other worries crossed my mind; we would be taking up a place for some other family that may not even have the ability to home school outside of this current school due to whatever reason, the fact that it wasn’t guaranteed for all families who applied, we would not be able to move at our own pace (I was thinking well what if we get behind would we have to go to the school to catch up, defeating the purpose), & then finally what happens if the school decides to cancel that program or something similar that requires us to come in to the school anyways also defeating the purpose of the staying at home option. Our family like so many other cannot afford to gamble with our children’s lives they are too precious to take those possible life & death chances.
This wasn’t a decision we took lightly when deciding this new homeschooling adventure means we lose my income at the school and probably means my husband will have to work more. We weren’t super concerned with our jobs being the problem with all that’s going on either it was more, kids are not going to keep their masks on at school and for everyone in our family especially the safety of our immune compromised kids (new baby/asthma) it wasn’t worth it. My husband would be the only one going out unless we all had doctors appointments or to the store where only one of us goes and we sanitize and mask up always! When he’s at work he wears gloves and a mask all day long and we felt that was something we could live with in me not having a job as we have to have some income. It is not our hope to have to struggle to pay bills for the rest of our lives but I would rather have a struggle with money than to watch my kids go through this awful virus and it affecting them the rest of their lives if they survive it. That’s not easy to think about and I felt so weird typing it just now… but it’s true. Money is necessary but it is not more important than my children’s lives; you can always make more money but there is only one of each of my kids ever! I would rather keep my kids as healthy as possible even if I have to forfeit the best job I have ever had in my life. I love it but I LOVE my kids more!
If there is anyone else kind of going through the same things know that you are not alone. I am having a hard time with my decision in the sense that this is NOT a easy decision. Hopefully we can return back to school next year that is if everyone wants to go back because I may just rock at this home school thing. Let’s hope that is the case. I could see it as a permanent thing, maybe! Feel free to comment below if anyone has any tips for homeschooling or maybe you have a question for me. As always thanks for reading. Drop a like below and follow this blog. Also follow me on social media and check out some of my other posts if you enjoyed reading this one!